Who are you really?

They say you are never truly yourself when you responding to others and that you are a product of your experiences. Do you believe that? Well this is what I think, we are an accumulation of all the people/contexts whom we come in contact with throughout our lifetime. Now wait….before you get all jumpy and edgy and start to think that this girl has lost her mind. Please hear me out.

Over the years we have met many people who have either wronged us or did right by us. The ones who did right by us, left an imprint in us which we regularly check into. These people have a special place in our hearts. We occasionally refer back to those words, gestures, kindness and positivity of all the good memories. It’s a good place to go too.  Similarly the ones who did wrong to us, the same applies. Difference here is that we have carved a special niche place for those words, actions and negativity. We have absorbed the energy of that incident, person or context. Yes my friends, our minds are clever that way and as much as we would like to think our minds are discerning enough to only keep what’s good for us, our minds are very fair. The belief is in balance and fairness etc. So what our mind does is that it takes in everything, the positive, negative and the really horrible and categories them.

The positive thoughts and emotions are stored in an easily accessible place like your conscious mind, the happy safe place. It is easily accessible through conscious thought.   The negative and really horrible is stored within the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind lies beneath the critical awareness of the conscious mind. It is where all memories of past experiences are stored. When we are faced with something negative, the subconscious mind opens up it’s doors for you to enter and retrieve something that easily matches what you experiencing at that present moment. It retrieves all similar incidents, emotions and thoughts. Your mind is influenced by these archived thoughts and emotions. Your behaviour is then dictated by that.

Here are examples of this:

1. Someone hugs you and then pulls away too quickly. Your mind questions why….you go back in your mind and retrieve a time when you were pushed away by someone you love. How that action hurt you. Automatically your mind and body then shuts down as a way to protect yourself from further hurt or pain.

2. You are told how horrible you are for saying NO just ONCE to someone who needed your help. Every time you are inclined to say NO to someone, you retrieve those negative words and feelings attached to it from your subconconscious. You then try not to say NO just as a way to protect yourself from being told negative things and feeling the way you did.

It is important to know YOUR thoughts from those thoughts which have been planted in your mind by others. Sometimes you may not realise it but your actions may speak a different YOU. Always be on the search for your TRUE self. Don’t be blindsided by what your subconscious mind has kept safe.

Stay Awesome

Dr Akashni