Conquering the mind is like adding too much or too little salt to food. Too much salt renders the food inedible, too little or none renders it inedible also. Some might say, we aren’t able to think straight in certain situations, others may say I am so good at dealing with situations that I disconnect from the situation. Now with both of these methods, there is a flaw. Now the flaw is like the too much salt and no salt situation. When we disconnect from a situation we are not controlling our mind, but we are suppressing what we truly feel. We are denying our mind the opportunity to feel in that particular context and situation. We trick ourselves into believing if I don’t think about it, it doesn’t exist. What you actually doing is trying to ensure that you never get hurt and in the process of doing this, your subconscious mind is being left with an arduous job. Your subconscious mind has the job of storing all these emotions and this isn’t an easy job. In its attempt to find space for the suppressed emotions it interferes with other parts of the mind, moves things around, creates barriers to fit the disconnection in.
These barriers that are created are there to shield the emotion of pain. So if someone hurt you, then the subconscious finds all the related people, events and contexts that have a similar theme and attacks that as well. So when one person hurts you, your barrier is put up against not just the one person but everyone. Slowly the subconscious mind raises red flags for similar situations; hence the disconnection has spread like a disease in the mind. With the other end of the continuum, anger outburst occurs, irrational behaviour is engaged in and words are used which are hurtful and destructive. Some may lose all common sense and create toxic relationships with everyone involved. This as well, is another attempt to rein in an emotion that has become wild and uncontrollable.
With this response, the mind isn’t in control as well. The mind is controlled by the emotion. When we faced with a difficult situation which can either lead our mind towards disconnection or uncontrolled behaviour, we need to step out of that moment. It’s difficult to do, yes, I know, but remember when you take either of those choices above, who is actually being hurt? You. You are bringing further long-term hurt to yourself. The person who contributed to it initially is absolved of everything. From the moment it enters your mind, it’s on you, you take responsibility for our own decision. You at that point chose that path. Because only we, no one else, is responsible for what happens inside us, inside our mind, body and soul. Your responsibility is to ensure you are always in control of your mind.
Your mind is your tiger to rein in and keep under control. If you give the reins to others, then you will be faced with distress.
The Jimmy Series
1. Always be in control of a situation. When you feel you have lost control of yourself and your context breathe in and out 5 times to regain your composure.
2. Once you in control of your moment, allow yourself time to process these emotions before reacting to it. When you process, you become an observer of the situation. When you respond immediately you are choosing to respond with subjectivity and not objectivity.
3. If you still cannot think straight, then allow yourself breathing space by removing yourself from that situation. Even if you leave it in the middle of a heated argument, it’s okay, better to respect yourself than to disrespect yourself by saying something you will regret later on. Don’t care what others say because your mind is your greatest and worst weapon. Should you wish to allow it to do whatever it wants then you pay the consequence for it.
4. Enter into meditation or prayer when you need to find a way out.
Only you can choose the course of direction for your mind. You just need to believe you are capable.