Treatment from Others vs treatment of the self

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There are some people in our lives who will treat us as if we are the dirt under their shoes. These people will push our boundaries towards hatred, anger, resentment and disappointment. These people will also make you feel as if you aren’t good enough, that you don’t deserve respect and love . Now as loving souls, what do we Do? We take, take and take. We do this because most of the time these people are the ones who are close to us, they are of our own flesh and blood, its family, closely followed by friends. Because we are close to these individuals we are expected to lay down and accept the poor treatment.

Well here is what I have learnt through this. Pettiness runs in every family. Insecurity runs like a wild dog in every family and unhappiness with the Self breeds in just about every family’s genes. There isn’t a perfect family in this world. Every family has some story which they hide well. Therefore we can say that this is a global issue. How do we deal with such a global catastrophe on our own you may ask? Well here is my answer.

If everyone in the world is doing something, it doesn’t make it right. If you are one of those people who are being treated appallingly, there is no need to question yourself Why or question the person doing this Why. The reason behind this is that if you question the person treating you badly about why they doing this…they will give you a standard response of…I am not doing that or it’s all in your head…and this response will lead you to question yourself and your answer will flow from those responses…and you will then believe that it’s you…you are at fault…you are imagining it etc. Your internalisation of it will become a vicious cycle starting and ending with you treating yourself badly and taking the blame. This is done through the internalisation of negative thoughts and negative thinking. You see if you already are predisposed to feeling bad, these words just feed into that.

The truth is….We will never truly know what goes on in another’s mind. You may be innocently doing things and the person on the receiving end will perceive it differently. This is a No win situation therefore it’s best to bring everything you feeling back to centre…regroup your thoughts and focus on yourself. Recenter your mind.

In YOUR mind if you can forgive the person for their ignorance, stupidity and lack of respect, your mind becomes clear to create boundaries between your mind and their words. Remember I didn’t say you have to forgive them IN PERSON ..Not at All. What I am saying is this…that if you want to be free of toxicity in your mind, then choose to be compassionate in your mind. When you choose compassion towards yourself, only then will you allow your mind to process the negative person’s words and thoughts differently. Because, by you showing forgiveness for stupidity and ignorance. You allow your mind to become free from the bonds of negativity and hatred. .How can you be angry if no negative juices are flowing in your being? A clear distinction between your thoughts and others’ thoughts creates a barrier. Thoughts are then compartmentalized.

This is a clear way to create mind boundaries between yourself and others. This allows forgiveness to bloom within your mind. When you are forgiving, You make space for happiness and peace in your mind. The focus becomes on you being your True self.

In case you forgotten, here is a reminder your life is important. Don’t share your mind space with unimportant people, thoughts and words. Keep it clean. This reminds me of a quote by Mahatma Gandhi…
“Don’t let anyone walk through your mind with dirty feet”

Therefore clean mind…clean thoughts…forgiving being.

Stay Awesome

Dr Akashni

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