We all know about the various types of abuse, but there is a more dangerous abuse which can destroy a person from the inside out. That is being “Mind Fucked”. Please excuse my language to those of you who hate the word Fuck, but there isnt a replacement word which can do justice to this concept.
What is Mind Fucked?
According to the Oxford dictionary;
Mind is defined as…
- The element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences,
- a person’s ability to think and reason; the intellect.
Fucked is defined as…
- .damage or ruin (something).
MF 1. Its when someone enjoys the chase. When a person is vulnerable, then another person tries to “save” “rescue” that person. The chaser pursues the vulnerable person, makes him or herself freely available, accessible and worms his or her way into that vulnerable person’s life. The vulnerable person now starts to depend on this individual for emotional support and comfort.
Sometimes this support can lead to financial, sexual and physical support. The vulnerable person then allows the chaser to enter their entire being, body, mind and soul. When the relationship is comfortable, the chaser gets bored and slowly pulls away. This pulling away can start with the phrases such as ” i am busy”, “i forgot to message you because… ” , ” you are becoming needy and too much that is why I stayed away”. There are more other ways the chaser gets into the soul of the vulnerable by saying …”its all in your head”, I am not being like that” or “maybe you are insecure that is why you feel like this”. This is the pattern of the chaser and vulnerable person.
MF 2. When the Chaser is emotionally weaker. When the chaser is vulnerable and needs some stability in his or her life, he/she is attracted to a strong minded, together person. This attraction is all exciting, challenging and full of vibrancy. This chase wakes up the soul of the chaser because this person is all he/she wants and sees for him/herself. Please dont get me wrong, he/she isnt falling in love with the person however what is happening is that the chaser is testing his/her limits. He/she wants to see how far they can get by breaking the strong person down. So phrases like “why dont I help you to do that, so that it can become Better” or ” have you seen this persons picture, maybe try and wear that colour shirt so that your pics look ten times more better” etc. The chaser gets under the confidence of the person by making her/him adjust his or lifestyle and choices. They will introduce new things to the person, so that the individual loses their core identity and replaces it with something that only the Chaser can verify.
Once the grooming is done, the so called “strong independent person” becomes reliant on this person for advice, encouragement and validation. Once that is achieved, the chaser then starts to pull away. The chaser starts to feel empowered again, renergised and has no use for this person any longer. So the excuses here are similar to above, you are insecure”, ” you are suffocating me”, ” you not giving me space”, ” I cant deal with you”, ” dont call me I will call you”. Leaving the previously strong person feeling needy and desperate and feeling empty and confused.
The above are brief examples of how someone can get mind fucked. In both cases, the strong and the vulnerable they have both been broken down to nothing. If you are either the chaser or the vulnerable/strong, here is my advice to you.
1. Vulnerable/Strong individuals …..Notice if you opening up your space to someone too quickly. If its a flooding of attention onto you, too early on then step back and reflect. Dont allow someone to change who you are. The change must be good for Your soul not good for anothers soul.
2. The chaser….If you are doing what’s described above, know this…something is wrong internally with your world. Ask yourself why do I jump from one to another? Why do I need to feel challenged? What is missing within me? What is causing my internal anxiety which I cannot seem to control?
Being mind fucked is probably up there as one of the worst abuse one can experience because when you lose your self, you lose everything. Therefore start taking back your life TODAY before you find yourself scraping your disconnected parts off from the floor.